Last Monday I used up my Southwest
miles (only ~9500) to buy ticket to Denver. Went straight to 16th Street mall
and after a shitty breakfast at Market Street Café I bought some edible pot and
a joint. I’m not getting the same results as I did a few years ago (lost 7lbs
in 10 days) but I have lost 4lbs. it’s a start. And that’s after eating out a
few times.
Really weird experience this time. I ate approx. 50mg(?)
over the first 20 minutes or so. Then got bored so I went to see Jupiter Rising
(pot didn’t help this dud of a movie become interesting after first 20 minutes,
it’s that bad.) Ate the rest during the movie. Once the movie was over i felt a
minor, minor buzz, so I high-tailed it for the bathroom. Found a stall right
next to one that someone graciously left his mess in. Bonus, who’d smell the
pot over that mess, right? So I was sitting there and un-packaged the joint.
Holy smokes! I don’t know if it the smell was really that powerful or if it was
the TCH I ate talking, but I panicked. Stricken with the fear of being caught, I
ripped the off the plastic tip and shoved the rest in my mouth, started munching on it. Quickly
my mouth got dry. Had to wash down with the little water I had, approx. 3 oz.
All I could smell was the pot. I was certain I’d soon meet the manager and a
security guard. I grabbed anything pot related and flushed some down the toilet
and the rest shoved in the waste bin. Drank a bunch of water to try to get the
rest of the pot down. It took a lot and the rest of the day all I could taste
was pot.
Left the theater and went to Barnes and Noble (didn’t have
much to do until flight that night). I was certain everyone could smell the pot
on me so after just a few minutes I left. Shit, really wanted to peruse some
magazines. Checked the time. It was 5hrs ‘til boarding time. Boy, do I not want
to miss my flight! And what if the bus driver smells the pot! I better try now
and if he doesn’t let me on I’ll catch some fresh air and try the next bus. Left
for Union Station for the bus as I routinely looked over my shoulder expecting a
cop to come up to me. Was certain people were looking at me so I popped in a Walgreens
and got some eye drops. Man, I was so certain people could smell the pot on me.
Walked out and looked for a secluded spot to do the eye drops, secluded because
I did not want anyone to suspect why I needed the drops.
That was the longest bus ride I’ve ever taken. I swear in my
daydream minutes if not an hour of daydream-time elapsed but the bus had only
traveled a mile. What the F? and yeah, I was starting to really feel it now. Looked
around, some people looked back, they must have smelled the pot on my cuz I sure
did, it was all I could smell or taste. Crap! I forgot to get something to
drink at Walgreens. Mouth was real dry. How long was this bus going to take?
Daydreamed several more day-dream hours but real-time only several minutes. I was
convinced I’d never reach the airport.
Made it to the airport. One huge victory. Only two more to
go – the TSA checkpoint and the flight attendant. Would they let me on if I smelled
like pot? It’s legal in CO after all, but TSA works for the Feds, not CO. Shit.
Could I lose my PreTSA status I’m caught?
I needed to sit down and after filling up my coffee mug (aw
man! There was still some coffee in it!) with water, I gulped it down and
filled it up again. Found a spot on the floor overlooking the checkpoint line
and set my phone alarm for an hour. Not sure if I dozed as all I could think of
was getting by the TSA man. In my mind I went over the contents of my backpack,
ensuring I had no incriminating evidence (other than the proliferous pot smell emanating
from me.
I could have waited an hour yet but I needed to go through
the line now in case they brought me to detention room, I’d need some time to
explain and sober up and maybe they’d let me on the plane. Yeah, buzz was still
kickin’ and time still passing in slo-mo. I chugged the water in my coffee mug
and went through the line, thinking about some tv show episode where people
were talking about how cool they think they looked as compared to how their
friends saw them. Was that me? Shit. Bend over and show me your ass. I was
ready. But I cruised right through the line and after a double take, my
backpack made it too.
Not sure of what happened between the terminal and the gate,
but I do remember riding on the train hoping the pot didn’t smell too obvious. When
I was at the gate I set my phone alarm again and half-slept, worried I wouldn’t
hear the alarm and miss my flight. Flight attendant let me walk right on board.
Sat between two big women. Wouldn’t you know it? The one by
the window got sick during the flight (2nd time in past four
flights someone next to me got sick). Shit, was it the pot smell? Shit. The woman to my right was a nurse
so we switched places. Very uncomfortable flight the rest of the way. At least
no one brought up the pot smell. I probably had BO as it was quite
warm in Denver and I was dressed for the cold.
Buzz was quite gone by now so I drove home. Next day I was
still certain the pot smell still lingered. No one at work said anything.
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